Exclusive | Nike x SKIMS launch fizzles in NYC: Kim K collab doesn’t draw big crowds — or big raves

What a SKIM-py turnout.

The much-hyped NikeSKIMS collab dropped in New York City Friday morning — but for all the buzz about Kim Kardashian’s takeover of both the gym and the runway, Manhattan didn’t break a sweat.

But Post reporter Marissa Matozzo sure did, braving a barrage of squeezing, tugging, hopping and holding her breath to (sometimes) fit into eight pieces that promised effortless workouts — if not effortless dressing.

When The Post hit Nike’s Fifth Avenue flagship at 8 a.m., just three loyalists were braving the early-morning chill for the 10 a.m. launch.

Across the street at the SKIMS store, the count was even slimmer: two diehard Kardashian devotees staking their claim.

By 9 a.m., the numbers barely budged — two more joined the Nike side, four at SKIMS. And while the lines eventually swelled to about 40 apiece by 9:40 a.m., that’s a far cry from the frenzy that usually greets a hot drop in this city, where Supreme campers and sneakerheads will sleep on sidewalks for the latest release.

Still, the few who did show in the early morning were die-hards.

“Kimberly is going to take too much of my money today,” laughed Nicole Marie Vee, 23, who trekked from Hudson Yards to the Midtown SKIMS flagship and arrived to wait in line at 9 a.m.

Vee said she had a virtual cart full of NikeSKIMS the night before but ditched it to buy in person — and in bulk.

She was swooning over the maroon “wine” sets the models rocked at the New York Public Library pop-up, calling the shade a personal favorite.

Vee skipped the Nike store line entirely, reasoning that “SKIMS is more her [Kim’s] mind,” and found herself third in line when she arrived at 9 a.m. — though she admitted she was surprised by the turnout.

“It’s a work day,” she shrugged. “If it was on a Saturday, more people would be here.”

The early birds at Nike’s Fifth Avenue launch weren’t exactly causing a scene, but the die-hards were crystal clear about their priorities. From Hudson Yards to Westchester, SKIMS loyalists showed up ready to snap pics, stake claims, and make sure they didn’t leave empty-handed.

“I wanted to physically go in the store and take pictures while buying the items rather than getting them online,” said David Paguay, 23, who drove over from Union City, New Jersey, with friends Engy Noeman, 21, and Michael Pina, 21.

“I’m here for the brown pilates sets,” Noeman added, praising the durability of SKIMS gear she’s been putting through the wringer for years. Pina highlighted the inclusivity factor: “The size range of SKIMS makes it stand out. A lot of other brands don’t even go up to 2X.”

Not all fans were shopping for themselves. Namon Johnson, who got to the SKIMS line at 7 a.m. and was the first in line, admitted he was on a mission for his partner.

“My lady wants these new items as badly as everyone else wants them. To get up early in the morning and come get them for her is what is going to make her happy,” he said, eyeing a burgundy jacket and gray zip-up for her.

So why pick SKIMS to wait in line over Nike? Diana Marinez, 37, trekked from Westchester to snag her spot at 8:30 a.m. and was second in line.

“Shopping at SKIMS just feels like a girlier, more aesthetically-pleasing experience,” she told The Post, even though the same pieces were available at Nike, where a tiny line of three people didn’t hurt her decision either.

Nike and Kardashian are calling this more than a collab — it’s a whole new brand. NikeSKIMS, which the companies say will live on in Nike’s portfolio, promises to “redefine women’s activewear without compromise.”

Translation: 58 silhouettes across seven collections of leggings, bras, cargos and more, all supposedly engineered to sculpt, sweat-wick and strut from gym to brunch.

The rollout is global, not just Fifth Avenue, and the PR spin is that this is a “system of dress” — think layers upon layers, from matte compression basics to glossy “statement” shine.

Kim herself noted in a press release that the line is meant to “empower athletes,” whether you’re running a marathon or just running errands.

Armed with eight pieces from the line, The Post played dress-up, Kardashian-style — piecing together four head-to-toe looks that ranged from genuinely wearable to “Who asked for this?”

Sure, some were actually wearable — but many left us wondering whether Kim’s definition of “empowering” involves a wedgie.

NikeSKIMS: Tried, Tested, Tamed

The Side Snaps Pant ($108)

The maroon “currant” lounge pant actually delivered — comfy, flattering, and sold out fast. But its halter-style matching bra? Cute for Instagram, not for the couch.

The V-Line 26″ Legging ($118)

Snagged in “Obsidian,” these fit well … but why the crotch-arrow seams up front and thong spotlight out back? Unless “butt emphasis” counts as “athletic empowerment,” the jury’s out.

The Double Strap Scoop Bra ($58) + Matte Biker Short 5-Inch ($68)

Four pointless straps, zero adjustability and a weird layered under-piece. On a 36D frame, the bra was so tight the Jaws of Life were nearly needed to get out of it. Hard pass.

But, the biker shorts worked fine, although nothing about them screamed $68. Definitely not worth the hype tax.

The Shine High Neck Zip-Up Bra ($64)

Looked sleek, felt like a sports bra for decorative purposes only. Zero support, all sizzle.

The Cami Longline Bra ($58) + Shiny Nylon Cargo Pant ($118)

The bra is supportive, flattering, and easily the MVP of the tops. Something we’d say Kim and Nike got right.

However, marketed as “bold statement” pants, the Hefty bag-esque horror show resembled a mad mashup between MC Hammer’s tragic ’80s cargo pants and a painter’s tarp. Plus, the waistline ripped the minute the cords were adjusted to … well, still fit poorly.

Bold statement, indeed.